There I was, staring at the water and watching the 1st group of men swim toward the heavenly yellow buoy that looked a mile away. The swim was 750 meters which is 30 laps in a pool or ½ mile. This is what I have been training for the last 6 months, yet I was at ease. No anxiety, partly because I had never been in the river, I had only trained in a pool and seemed happily ignorant to the task ahead of me.
When the women are called to the starting line I plunge into the warm water, it envelops me like a blanket, inviting me to swim in her depths. I swim to the starting point and put both arms into the air and wave my hands back and forth, this was the signal to my daughter so she would know where I was. As I’m waving my arms in the air to make sure she can see me the lower part of my body is treading water. Treading water without the use of my arms has rapidly elevated my heart rate before the race has even begun. I quickly resume treading with the use of my arms and take some deep breaths to slow my heart rate. I feel ready, I feel calm, I feel playful not even noticing the other swimmers around me. I move my body in the water and feel her warmth as it caresses my skin.
Ten…..nine….the count down has begun. Four……Three……Two……One and I’m off. The river is brown and I can’t see but two inches in front of me but I remember what I was taught. Stroke stroke stroke breath, stroke stroke stroke breath, my hips rotating from side to side with each stroke. This isn’t too bad I think, although I can’t see anything. I realize I have become very dependent on the black line at the bottom of the pool to keep me swimming straight. After what feels like 5 minutes of pure face in the water swimming I lift my head to see to my dismay that the yellow buoy at the starting line is only about 30 feet behind me, “is that all” I thought. I’ve been swimming not stop for 5 min and I’ve barely moved. Granted I was swimming against the current, but was unaware up until this point the reality of what that meant. I pick up my speed and try to get in a groove. Stroke stroke stroke breath, stroke stroke stroke breath……Ouch! I’ve been kicked in the head by the swimmer in front of me. This happens several more times and by this time I’m tired and realize that I am swimming zig zag across the water. Also at this point I have come to realize how important sighting is; this is when you eye specific landmarks as you breathe to keep yourself in line so you know where you are when swimming in open water. A feat I never came close to mastering in my pool water swims, something that was obvious had anyone been watching me closely.
I switch to my back stroke and gleefully watch the clouds smile at me and the leaves on the trees that shade the side of the river dancing. Although I have been kicked, swam over, and shooed back in line by a volunteer kayaker I feel at one with the river and the sky above me. As I close in on the turn that will finally bring me down stream I swim smack dab into that heavenly yellow buoy……..another ouch! Finally downstream! I was in a groove, taking long beautiful strokes, I felt like a graceful fish flying through the water……until I feel something slimy and I lift my head. To my surprise, although at this point nothing should surprise me, I have swam to the bank of the river right into a tree root. I laugh and say to the kayaker who has come to shoo me back in line “that could have been dangerous!” “Yeah” she says in a voice that sounds as if a “no shit” should have followed, if it did I didn’t hear it because I was off again. From my judgment I was only 50 meters away! Almost there and I felt great!
I made it! As I make my way to the stairs on the platform my legs sink into the mud up to my knees. My head is spinning and I will certainly fall to my demise if I don’t grab hold of the railing and gain my composure. I climb up the platform and run up the gravel path not even noticing that I had no shoes, I was pumped for the bike ride. I could see my husband at the end of the path cheering with a grin that made my soul sing. I could hear my family screaming my name as I made my way over to my bike.
Trying to go slow enough to recover from the swim but quick enough to get on my bike and rolling. I was beginning to feel the pressure of being on the tail end of the race. I dry my feet and pull on my socks and shoes, throw on my helmet and I’m off. I’m cruising and love the feeling of the wind in my face. The air is still this morning but being on my bike it whips through me as I picture myself as a train choo chooing my way to victory. After politely passing several bikers I couldn’t help but feel proud that I was actually doing this and good enough to pass people. I chuckle at my rookieness and wonder what veteran tri-athletes think about as they zoom their bikes down the road. I have been warned about a killer hill from several tri-girls and about 15 minutes out I wonder if the hill I was just on was IT. It wasn’t too bad of a hill, I was certainly tired but not tired enough for it to be the ONE, I conclude it wasn’t, and I press on.
About 40 min into the ride I’m feeling fatigued, more so than I should feel. I press on and again question another hill that seemed tougher than it should have felt, but again conclude that it wasn’t the one. I begin to notice how tired I feel and quickly direct my attention to the beauty of the trees and the sky. I am instantly grateful for the opportunity to see such beauty and bring my focus to the wind in my face and picture myself as a train choo chooing my way to victory.
I see the veteran tri-athletes passing me on the other side of the road and occasionally here a “go tri-girl” which instantly lifts my spirits. After hearing several “go tri-girl” I came to refer to them as my tri-girl angels for the remainder of the race. I begin to notice that my lungs feel tight; it’s been ten years since I’ve had any asthma issues and by god my lungs feel tight. I couldn’t get a deep breath and just as if on queue I see it, the hill. The one I have been warned about. Now, the hill in all reality is not a crazy long hill, it is certainly a hill and one that takes effort to climb, but it was nothing that I could not do on any other day. But today I realize with disappointment that because of my fatigue and random asthma symptoms I would have to walk my bike up the hill. Feeling discouraged, I walk my bike while playing the scene out in my head of how I will tell my family that I had to walk up the hill.
I get to the top and climb on my bike and my feet begin to spin, there is no resistance. I realize that my gears have come off. I pull off the road and kick myself for missing the clinic on bike maintenance………any outside help is grounds for disqualification. I’m screwed. So I buckle down and get my gears put back on the only way that makes sense to me. I get back on my bike and again the chain falls off and my feet spin. I try this again and again the chain falls off and my feet spin. I am exhausted, I’m tired, and I am already feeling discouraged. Why I ask as I look towards the sky. I try again several more times, and each time my chain falls off. At this point anyone that I was ahead of me has passed me and I am on the verge of giving up. Tears begin to well in my eyes and I scream out Mother F*&^er. It feels like 20 minutes has gone by and all of a sudden it occurs to me that I might be putting the chain on the wrong gear. So, I try out my theory and Whala! I got it!! By this time any asthma symptoms have disappeared and I felt completely recovered. I got to the half way point of 9 miles and turned around to finish the last half of the bike ride. I was 3rd to last person and still feeling quite discouraged. I try to look at the bright side, this is my first race I tell myself, I could never have done this 6 months ago, It’s not about my time or how many people I beat, It’s about finishing, be proud of yourself Jennifer I say. I feel better, not completely, but better.
I peddle my way back the nine miles to the transition area passing a couple more bikers on my way, not that it matters, but mentally it made me feel slightly better. I couldn’t help but notice that as I rolled into the transition area many race contestants were leaving with their families. I gave myself a little chuckle; I still had the running part to finish. I roll towards the dismount line and see the joy on my families face as they cheer me on with pride oozing from their faces while they click their cameras.
½ mile swim done, 18 mile bike done, now onto my favorite part the 3 mile run. Running I’m good at I say, this is where I get to make up the whole thing. I start out on the trail and I feel great. The trail is a zig zag through the woods with people sitting at different check marks to point me in the right direction. I keep hearing ‘go tri-girl’, those are my tri-girl angels I smile to myself. I remember what I’m taught, loose hands, loose arms, loose shoulders, arms back and breathe deep. I feel great! But, my fatigue gets the better of me and I have to stop. My body doesn’t feel as strong as it should. I’ve done this before I say to myself. I’ve biked 20 miles and ran 3 on my practices, but I am surprisingly upbeat. I refuse to be down on myself, I know I’m doing the best I can and I keep pressing along. I run and stop for a minute and continue running. I continue to run and stop, run and stop, run. I hear the angels of the race rooting me on, ‘you can do it’, I hear them say, ‘you’re looking great’. Then I hear ‘less than a mile’ and I’m stoked. I can run that I say to myself and off I go.
As the finish line comes into sight I hear the screams of my angels “go Jennifer”, “whoohoo” and I feel a sense of accomplishment wash over me. I raise my arms as I cross the finish line! I did it! I did it! I finished! My husband is there, my beautiful children, my dear friend Amy whose smile and love gave me goose bumps, my mother in law and my father in law, my aunt and my uncle, it was a celebration!
My first triathlon is an experience I can never repeat, it was emotional and triumphant. It was an experience of a lifetime and I proved that I can accomplish anything that I put my mind to. The only thing I have done that was remotely athletic before this was step aerobics. And here I am, just starting my triathlon career, working toward feeling strong and making a difference in my life. This isn’t the end, this is just the beginning!!!
